Adulting

  
Adulting is staying seated within 3 grey walls with 6×6 parameters and pretending to be riveted by a social services webinar. Don’t get me wrong. I like working in social services. I like the disadvantaged. It gives me gainful employment while allowing me the opportunity to smugly pat myself on the back. I am clearly a good person. However, the presentation leaves much to be desired. Less is more. Every slide does not need a touching anecdote. It is almost one step away from an ASPCA commercial. Minus Sarah McLachlan. 

*Bathroom Break* 

Ok I’m back. I stayed in my stall until the water cooler lady left. I owe her like 4 months of water dues. Popping 3 Advil with my stolen water as it is the SAME woman talking in the webinar as when I left. Or maybe they all sound the same?? 

Yes!! It’s over. Now back to Excel spreadsheets.  Is it 5 o’clock yet?? Shit. No, it’s not. 

And NO, I am NOT advertising for Halls!!!

This is just a cute little picture that I found online…today I left work early today for “personal reasons”. Actually, my personal reasons were that I was too tired to try and figure out my customer service skills while getting over this cold…my customer service skills were quite excellent at 8:30 this morning, but….this afternoon, I was about to hang up on the next caller. Then ding, ding ding! I figured that I might as well go home. If I do go off on too much of a tangent today, please forgive me. It’s the Sudafed. I claim all innocence.

As I sit here, alternating between the temperatures of hot and cold, I am eager to leap off to the next social event. Ever since the break up, I have found myself almost unable to just sit still and just BE. I want to find SOMETHING, SOMEONE to get my mind off of the sudden solitude in which I find myself. Why can I not enjoy it for its own value or merit? I have definitely become more accustomed to the solitude at this point and I have enjoyed certain aspects, for sure. But even though I was raised as an only child, I now need to RELEARN how to be alone!

And how true is the above comic even though it is meant as a joke…most people do not know how to be truly alone and yet, happy in this world. We may be physically alone, but do we actually shut our phones off and avoid our Facebook and Twitter pages in order to momentarily sever contact with the world if just for a few hours? And we would actually NEED to shut our phones off because if you are permanently attached to your smart phone like me, you have set up your Facebook and Twitter notifications via phone.

I think that I will take this little cold of mine as a blessing. Starting this past weekend, I have spent quite some time alone. Even though this is admittedly in a drug infused haze, I have still quite enjoyed it. I read a book. I caught up on Grey’s Anatomy (hey, don’t judge, there’s a reason it has nine seasons!). And I went to two Holiday parties, but they were on Friday. I also slept a lot and cuddled with my 5 1/2 pound Chihuahua mix. Who says that I need another man…he barks to let me know when someone is coming. 🙂

Anyway, please enjoy the Holidays whatever religious or non-religious persuasion you may be. Regardless, please remember that this is the time of year to be especially mindful of those less fortunate than us. And if you do feel that you are less fortunate, I truly hope that you find the blessings that you need this Holiday season.

Be Blessed,

Pennsgirl

The Silver Lining To My Break Up Cloud

Maybe this is what he was really saying when he said that we were just too different…

Doesn’t matter!!! Because this is what I’m thinking…

Yupp! Yupp! There is usually a silver lining in every cloud…I am no longer accountable to anyone! I can do whatever I want!

My last poem – right before the break up – isn’t love sweet??

Like a casket lowered into the ground

My heart envelopes itself into a cave

I am fearful and faceless waiting to be found

I feel left behind like an orphan of war

Even though my love is not so far.

How can he be so endlessly brave

While I shiver and then inevitably shatter

My pieces fade away into trivial matter

Blown away by sadness

I drink myself into a madness

The self crafted torture stays till daybreak

I realize that I see only lies in a bottle.

A false love that renders me bloodshot and awake

My cave feels empty instead of full.

After a dead slumber I wake up to headache

And the morning mirror greets a fool.

Time passes and afternoon ushers in an epiphany

I discern that some solitude is inevitable

I find my face and my love for me.

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